connection

The Hidden Pain of Men: How to Rebuild Connection

Many men feel a quiet ache of loneliness and lost brotherhood. Discover how to rebuild meaningful friendships, reconnect with other men, and restore emotional connection in your life.

Finding Comfort Without Shame: Understanding Holiday Emotional Eating

Emotional Eating During the Holidays Holiday expectations have a way of bringing things to the surface—mixed in with the joy...

Navigating Faith in Therapy: How to Heal From Where You Are

Understanding Faith in Therapy: Finding Your Personal Path Faith can be a source of peace.But it can also be a...

holiday stress

6 Ways to Manage Holiday Stress This Season

The Problem Isn’t the Holidays — It’s the Pressure The holidays are full of expectations—be joyful, be available, make it...

life transitions

Why Life Transitions Feel So Hard—and How Therapy Can Help

Change Is Hard—Even the Good Kind Whether it’s a breakup, a new job, becoming a parent, or hitting a milestone...

grief

5 Myths About Grief and Loss

Grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline or a set of predictable stages. In this article, we explore five common myths about grief and loss—and the compassionate truths that can help you better understand your experience and feel less alone.

When Sexual Desire Is Out of Sync

Few things create as much quiet tension in a relationship as mismatched sexual desire. When one partner feels rejected, and the other feels pressured, it’s easy to wonder what’s gone wrong. This post explores why desire differences are so common, what they’re really about (hint: it’s rarely just sex), and how couples can move out of painful cycles and back toward safety, connection, and closeness.

The Emotional Realities of Postpartum and Infertility

Postpartum and infertility can bring unexpected emotional challenges. Learn how to navigate grief, anxiety, and hope with compassionate support.

4 Reasons Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Stick (and 4 Tips That Actually Create Change)

New Year’s resolutions often fail—not because of laziness or lack of willpower, but because they’re built on pressure, shame, and unrealistic expectations. This post explores why change doesn’t stick and what actually creates sustainable growth rooted in self-compassion, nervous system support, and small, meaningful shifts.

Eating Disorders - It's Not About the Food

By Kelly Lopez

If it’s not about the food, what is it really about?

The eating disorder serves a function, it does a job. Despite the problems an eating disorder creates, it is an effort to cope, shield against, communicate, and solve problems. Behaviors may be a way to establish a sense of power or control, self-worth, strength, and containment. Bringing may be used to numb pain. Purging may be a way to release emotions. When one cannot cope in healthy ways, adaptive functions (behaviors) are created to ensure a sense of safety, security, and control.
According to Carolyn Costin*, some of the “adaptive functions that eating disorder behaviors commonly serve are”:
It’s not about the food, it’s a way of coping with low self-esteem, negative emotions, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, unstable home, difficulty resolving conflict and much more.
*Costin, Carolyn. The Eating Disorder Sourcebook: A Comprehensive Guide to the Causes, Treatments and Prevention of Eating Disorders. 3rd. edition, McGraw Hill, 2007.
Fuller, Kristen. “Eating Disorders: It’s Not All about Food.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 22 Mar. 2017