Bonds: Wired in Our DNA
As mammals we are wired in our DNA for bonding. Our brain is flooded with happy chemicals and hormones when we feel loved and love others. If you were a new client of mine coming in for depression or anxiety, before anything else, I would examine the relationships in your life. Do you have people? Do you have belonging? Who comforts you when you are hurting? Do you allow yourself to share vulnerability with safe friends/family in your world, or do you soothe and suffer all alone? So many of us do!
Choosing to Reach Out
If we haven’t been shown in our life that it’s okay to reach out to others for comfort, we tend to isolate when we are hurting. We rely on “me” to comfort “me,” often by sleeping, distracting or checking out with media, numbing out with substances, or in healthier ways getting out into nature, meditating or engaging in a hobby. While some of these options aren’t necessarily bad, they cannot replace the strength that comes from the bonds of connection. It takes practice and awareness to choose to reach out rather than in when you are hurting, but in doing so (with the right people who are safe and reliable) you will deepen and enrich the relationships around you, improving your overall mental health in the process.
Additional Resources
Written by: Audra Owens
Edited by: Lauren Maddox